Is being transgender really a choice.

My transgender son has been on hormone treatment for over a year. This week he had his first operation. His hysterectomy.

We had to get up at 3am, in order to be at the hospital for  6.00am. I called the hospital when we were told to, he was still in recovery. I was told to just keep calling. I left it for an hour and a half, called again and was told it had gone great and we could visit.

When we arrived at his ward, he was laid in bed, asking where we had been. He looked pale, very pale.

His first request, he wanted McDonalds. Typical of my son. As the visit progressed and the pain killer wore off, he became very emotional, crying partly because of the pain, but partly because apparently men don’t cry. REAL MEN DO CRY it shows they care. An my son is very caring.

I knew it was going to be hard seeing my baby in pain. But it was far worse than I had imagined. Hearing my son repeatedly apologizing for crying, for causing all this trouble because he is transgender broke my heart.

I KNOW being any member of the LGBTQ community is not a choice, after seeing my son this day made me realize that ANYONE who thinks its a choice needs to educate themselves. NO-ONE chooses to put themselves through these surgeries, let alone the bullying they suffer.

We have young adults stepping in front of trains because its easier than going to school. As Humans we have reached

the ultimate low and we need to change. We need to respect other people and instead of being abusive, physically or emotionally, we should be grateful we don’t have to go through so much to be who we are.

My son when he was younger.

Elephants

 

 

 
Baby elephants are around 250 pounds at birth. They are dependant on their mothers milk for the first 3 months, however they continue having the milk up to 3 years.

Male baby elephants gradually move away from the herd as they become adults.
The herd is usually made up of female elephants. The head of the herd, usually the oldest female elephant is in charge up to her death, when her first born usually takes over.
There tusks are soft and are an extension of the teeth. They favour one side over the other, like humans who are left or right handed. Whichever side is worn down the most, it their equivalent to us being right or left handed.

They use their trunks to pick up items, throw water or mud over their backs and along with their tusks debark trees, and forage to vegetation.

Elephants from Africa have large ears, while the Asian cousins have small ears. Asian elephants are often used to give rides to tourists, while African elephants are faced with the risk of poachers and trophy hunters. Elephants really are the gentle giants of the animal kingdom.

I Am Speechless.

OMG I just don’t believe this. What is this world coming to, so much hate. Some people seem to be convinced their hatred is justified. IT ISN’T.

My son is Transgender, my daughter is bisexual. They are not freaks, are not a threat to any individual, they are caring great adults.

People around the world need to stop spreading hate, allowing it and justifying it. Religion is not an excuse. Homophobia is not an excuse.

LGBTQ communities have to deal with ignorant people and their comments, this however, wow, this was a hate crime, nothing more or less. These poor people, being trapped and knowing they may die, their families, the survivors having to deal with survivor guilt, stress and PTSD.

For anyone who was in that nightclub that night and survived, you have nothing to feel guilty about, any friends you lost that night, would just be thankful you survived. When you have recovered the initial injuries fight this ignorance in their names. Fight people, politicians and religious institutions. We need to love and work together, no-one has the right to any say regarding anyone or their life choices.

The world loves you all, supports you and wants change. Let us all help you make a change.

Do not let this incident or anyone, change how you live. Be true to yourselves always and forever.

My family send’s  love to the survivors and their families. Our love and condolences go out to everyone involved either directly or indirectly.

Invisible Illness part 2

Fibromyalgia

I have recently been diagnosed with this condition. The more I learn about this illness    the more I realise that this illness has been with me for years maybe even decades, I just didn’t know it. Years of pain, stiffness, noisy joints and severe insomnia, and only now do people believe me.

There is no cure for Fibromyalgia, but pain can be lessened with medication and gentle exercise.

Growing up, phycological meant you were imagining things, women’s problem suck it up, or you are a hypochondriac. Thankfully now doctors know this is not the case.

The brain is an amazing organ, however, it can mess up at times. I have always felt that considering how the human is made, one cell dividing, and dividing, that it’s amazing anyone is born without problems. Recent years have shown that things go wrong more than we realise. Years ago, people couldn’t be themselves, couldn’t state how they felt different or that something was not right. They were ignored or victimised.

Fibromyalgia is thought to be caused by physical or mental stress or trauma. Pain experienced both sides of the body front and back. Symptoms include pain, stiffness, insomnia, and stress. There is no cure, but in severe cases medications can help limit pain and discomfort, however, it may take some time to find the right dosage.

On a good, minimal pain day, it is very tempting to do as much as you can, clean the house from top to bottom, get caught up with errands. However, overdoing things can result in 4 bads days instead of two. Pacing is recommended, when you start to feel uncomfortable or experience pain, stop.

My psycharatrist, wish everyone could have one like him, went over my symptoms and then told me before we discussed to plan of action, he wanted to make sure I was clear about something – I was not imagining it, and the pain was real!

The neurotransmitters in the brain are over sensitive, or sometimes send pain messages in error, they send pain messages that are stronger than needed. Neurotransmitters are not like a tumor or cyst, you can’t open up the brain and remove them, the brain has an amazing job to do, and sometimes the transmitters misfire or just don’t work as they are supposed to.

As unpleasant as it is to suffer from this illness, being believed, by professionals as well as family friend’s, does make a big difference. Never look at someone who tells you they are in pain, without a physical cause being found and scoff. Until you suffer the same complaint you really have no idea. Just be grateful you don’t have to deal with it.

The pain can affect your ability to work, do chores, go out, and live a normal life. Make the most of the good days, rest on the bad.

Invisible Illness.

There are many illnesses that are invisible. They all come under the heading of, others can tell your illness by sight alone.

If you’re in a wheelchair, or crutches people can’t figure out you have limited mobility or none. Don’t get me wrong, illnesses like this are terrible. My sister has been paralyzed and in a wheelchair following spine surgery, took two years and daily swimming and gym to get out of it, she still can’t feel her feet and has to walk sort of using special shoes. But you know she can’t walk when you see her. If someone is blind, there will probably be signs, again can’t imagine not seeing my kids, awful.

However when an illness is invisible, and you can’t work, walk or stand for long periods, people look at you like “boo hoo, I have to stand to 8 hours deal with it”. You don’t know what someone is suffering from, the pain they experience or other symptoms that you can’t see.

Migraines, MS, ME, arthritis, fibromyalgia, not to mention depression, bipolar, transgender dysphoria,anxiety deafness and insomnia.

People has heard of most of these, but do they really think what it is like to live with them? I have been unable to walk or stand for more an hour or so for over a year, all test came back normal. They doctors looked at me as if I was crazy because i wasn’t celebrating. Great of course I’m glad it’s not serious, but I am not imagining the pain, stiffness, numbness it’s real, so what is causing it. Turns out I have fibromyalgia, which although doctors describe as psychological ( which when i was growing up mean you were imaging it or a hypochondriac), it actually isn’t, the brain sends messages to all parts of our bodies, that’s how we move, stop, think etc, when these neurotransmitters either send pain messages in error, or stronger pain messages that they should, you feel pain, these messages can also cause migraines, insomnia and numbness.

Unfortunately you can’t remove neurotransmitters like a cyst, there is no cure, but meds can lower pain. Fibromyalgia is not new, its been around for decades, however until the 80’s, sufferers were thought to be crazy or imaging symptoms. This is no longer the case.

I am sick and tired of seeing sarcastic notes that have been left on cars parked in the disabled parking spots, asking “did you forget your wheelchair?” etc. Not everyone who is disabled is confined to a wheelchair. You never know what someone is going through, until you do, maybe these people should keep quiet.

Best wishes to anyone with an invisible illness.